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TMZ is blowing the lid off of the “Dancing with the Stars” premiere — ’cause we know EVERY SINGLE THING that’s set to go down on the show … from songs to props and even EXPLOSIONS!

BTW — SPOILER ALERT follows:

The most shocking performance — Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas — they Cha Cha to “Mama Told Me (Not to Come)” … are you listening Levi?  But the best part — Bristol will rip off some “tear-away clothes” while Sarah Palin sits in the audience!

David Hasselhoff will also be dropping a “Sex Bomb” of his own — Tom Jones style — complete with sunglasses and a pyrotechnics.

Here’s how it will break down …

— Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovalani — Cha Cha Cha — “California Gurls”

— Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas — Cha Cha Cha —  “Mama Told Me Not to Come”

— Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel — Viennese Waltz —  “We are the Champions”

— Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough — Viennese Waltz — “These Arms of Mine”

— Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas — Cha Cha Cha — “Kiss Me Honey Honey Kiss Me”

— Brandy and Maks Chmerkovskiy — Viennese Waltz — “Cry Me Out”

— Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya — Viennese Waltz — “This Ain’t a Love Song”

—Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer — Cha Cha Cha — “My First Kiss”

— Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke — Viennese Waltz — “Crazy”

— David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson — Cha Cha Cha — “Sex Bomb”

— Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower — Viennese Waltz — “Life After You”

— The Situation and Karina Smirnoff — Cha Cha Cha — “Break Your Heart”

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