BLOG: How To Answer Annoying “None-ya” Questions

I know – Cosmo is a women’s magazine.  But I need all the help I can get, so I read it in hopes someday I’ll become that perfect boyfriend (or woman – whichever comes first I guess).  In the new issue I found Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of etiquetteeexpert.com, with advice on answering some of those annoying questions that you’d like to tell people “it’s none ya” but feel obligated to say something more pleasant.  Here are some of her replies to life’s most impolite-to-ask questions:

Q: Do you have a boyfriend yet?

A: “I’m juggling so many hot guys right now that it’s going to be a while before I decide to tie myself down.”

Q: When are you two going to have kids?

A: “We’re way too busy enjoying the honeymoon phase to think about that yet.”

Q: Did you lose weight?

A: “Thanks, it must just be a good week for me!”

Q: How much is your rent?

A: “I know, this place is fabulous. I’m so lucky to have gotten a really good deal on it. How’s your apartment?”

Q: How much do you make?

A: “I don’t really worry about my salary. It’s more important that I love my job.”

Q: Where’s that bag/top/pair of kick-ass pumps from?

A: “Oh this? I’ve had it for so long I can’t remember anymore.”

Q: You look so tired. (Okaynot really a question, just a beyond rude observation no one should ever make.)

A: “Actually, me and (insert name of your hook-up/boyfriend/husband here) were up kind of late last night. But it was sooo worth it.” Follow up with your best If-you-know-what-I-mean face.