BLOG: 2012 – See At Your Own Risk
Let me preface this by saying, the Dutch and I dropped $20 for the two of us to see this movie film…Went on our own accord. Oy…and now a Riggs Random Review…
So the epic “2012” opened this weekend, starring Jon Cusack. I was apprehensive about going to see this movie, as it looked like one of those HUGE blockbusters where they spent all their money on special effects and used the remaining $75 in their budget to pay a monkey to write the script. Unfortunately, I was most definitely correct in my assumptions.
2012 offered, much as it was built up to be, HUGE on-screen special effects. Explosions left and right, skyscrapers collapsing like dominoes, and the seas engulfing the Himalayan mountains. But when it came to the story line, the movie fell waaaaaaaaay short. Not to mention the fact that much of it was ENTIRELY unbelievable. There was not ONE MOMENT during the movie, where I was worried “are they going to make it?”. You know how you get that “edge of your seat” feeling in some movies, where the main character is in a life threatening situation and you seriously are on pins and needles. Never happened during this film.
(CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD…KINDA) I suppose if the world starts to end, if you are Jon Cusack in a limo – you can weave through traffic, through a fallen building, just barely miss falling into a massive canyon, and arrive to the airport JUST in time, where nothing has been disturbed except the pilot has been violently killed somehow (?) but nothing else has even seen a hint of destruction – then your plane narrowly escapes the earth’s shifting plates just barely while your “I Only had two lessons” pilot flies you through falling buildings and escapes death by merely seconds and centimeters.
The only things that made the movie somewhat enjoyable – Woody Harrelson, and their sprinkling in of modern day references. In 2012 our President is Black (Danny Glover…Obama?), but he is “widowed” for some reason, Arnold is still the “Govern-ator” of California, etc…
Buh. Well, if you’re in for a stunning visual show of mass destriction, I suppose its better to see 2012 on a big screen if you’re really in for the ridiculous spectacle of devastation…the effects ARE REALLY good. If its not your bag, save your $$ till its at a cheap theater, or on DVD and watch in the comfort of your own home. Definitely not worth $20.
We did get out in time to catch the last 7 minutes of the GREATEST COLTS COMEBACK I’ve ever seen…well at least in a while. Go Colts, and don’t worry about the end of the world.
(END SPOILER: I love spoiling the ending. So seriously, if you don’t want to know the big stuff that happens, stop reading NOW. I’m serious. Don’t get all pissy with me, cause I’m warning you…here it comes….
In the end:
The ships are actually giant boats, and not space ships like was implied through the whole movie. The only way for anyone to get a “ticket” to board these boats was to pay millions or even billions of dollars. As the ships are about to set sail, the lead scientist on the ship realizes that they are about to leave thousands of humans behind to die, and gives a speech, explaning that if they leave behind all those people, they aren’t saving humanity, they are destroying it, since they would start the world anew with a horribly cruel act.
The American leader refuses to let the people on board. All of the other ships, ruled by other countries, agree to pause setting sail and open their doors to the thousands of people who didn’t pay for tickets aboard the ships. The American leader then follows and allows non-paying passengers.
Everyone rushes on board, but there is a problem. Something is jammed in the American ship’s motors, preventing the door from closing fully, and, because of poor design, they are unable to start the engines unless the door is sealed, even though the engines are fine. Jackson
(John Cusack) returns to the turbine room, but it is completely flooded. He is told it is a suicide mission, but goes for it anyway. He unjams the door, and it seals, just moments before the American ship crashes into Mount Everest. Jackson manages to survive and everyone lives happily aboard the boats.
27 days later, they make a discovery. All of the previous world’s tallest mountains are no longer the tallest, and, in fact, one in Africa is. Due to the way the plates shifted, Africa was lifted several thousand feet into the air, and never flooded or received much damage at all. All of the ships set sail for Africa, with hopes that it will be in tact and able to hold human life.
