LOL-WORTHY: 24 Things That Happen When You Date A Man With A Beard
Andrew Luck was quoted over the weekend on a conference call admitting that the most important women in his life–his mother and his girlfriend— both HATE his now infamous neck beard.
BUT in honor of all the ladies who, like Andrew Luck’s boo, get to enjoy the positives and negatives of having a man who cultivates a small furry chia pet on his face….this is for you.
“24 Things That Happen When You Date A Man With A Beard”
1. You’re asked to offer an opinion on your S.O.’s beard more times than you care to remember.
2. In fact, you’re expected to provide commentary on every beard you see when you’re together.
3. And it’s never long before the inevitable question is posed: “Is his beard better than mine?”
4. “Stop checking out his beard!”
5. Everyone you introduce your boyfriend to has some semblance of a beard anecdote to share.
6. Your bearded friends welcome him with open arms, and it’s never long until they start exchanging tips.
7. Which means you have a weirdly detailed knowledge of how to maintain facial hair.
8. Meanwhile, your non-bearded friends inevitably ask your boyfriend for tips.
9. Which means you’ve heard the, “Thanks, I grew it myself” joke a few times before.
10. When you first started dating, you’d tell your S.O. if he got food in his beard immediately…
11. But now you just wait until the end of the meal, because you know he’s only going to get more in there.
12. Your grandparents tell you that your S.O. would be nice looking, if he shaved.
13. And his parents try to enlist you as an ally in their personal mission to get your S.O. to shave.
14. But you love his beard. You find it ~manly~ and ~sophisticated~ and ~sexy~,
15. Except when he’s just come out of the shower, because wet beard feels like a hairy, soggy sponge.
16. Besides, you never get ID’d when you’re with him.
17. Of course, the downside is that you can no longer wear animal hats when the two of you are out together.
18. But, whatever. You know that beard > stubble.
Beards aren’t itchy, for starters.
19. Sometimes you mistake his beard for a small pet and absentmindedly start stroking it.
20. Then you find yourself thinking about how weird it must be to have hair sprouting from your actual face.
21. You always notice when your boyfriend has conditioned his beard.
22. And you’ve had countless conversations about the bit of face between the lip and the chin.
Because apparently hair is harder to grow there.
23. Eventually his beard will get a bit too long, and you want to encourage your S.O. to shave. But then you realise you are not the boss of him.
24. And as long as he doesn’t start experimenting with wax, you <3 big beards.
Because, really, what’s not to love?
