‘Scandal’ [RECAP]: 5 Situations That Should Warn Olivia & Co. To Get Their Lives (But Likely Won’t)

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Gladiators rejoice: “Scandal” is back on the air!

After an eight-week mid-season hiatus, the Shonda Rimes world of Washington, DC kept on turning last night with season 3, episode 11 ”Ride, Sally Ride” which probably should’ve been titled “Run, Olivia, Run” after those threats from Papa Pope, but more on that later.

First let’s talk about how Olivia Pope totally got the “Claire Huxtable, ’Cosby Show’ season 3 treatment” with well shot angles, smartly placed props (hello signature Prada bag!) and baggy clothes hiding Kerry Washington ’s baby bump. Aww!

Outside of that, not much has changed on the Hill, where our favorite characters spend so much time creeping and conniving it’s hard to imagine them getting any real work done. But there were plenty of major developments from last seasons’ story lines, that should serve as reminders to these characters to get their lives, least they find themselves losing them. Here’s what happened while Olivia (and arguably everyone in this episode) was, in the words of Papa Pope: “skipping around in a field full of bombs and mistaking them for daisies.”

1. Sally “Snapped” Langston Is Trying To Ride The Crazy Train To The Polls

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In case you forgot that Vice President Sally Langston has lost her ever-loving mind, the episode quickly reminds that she’s completely delusional these days.

The episode starts out with Mellie running to Cyrus and breathlessly telling him “She’s…running,” spilling the audacious moves of the VP to split the ticket, leave the Republican party and run against her boss for President as an Independent. This is all while refusing to leave her post as vice president, and, you know, the aftermath of her covering up murdering her husband after she realized he was cheating on her with another man (Cyrus’ husband).

In her announcement, Sally tells the American people that she’s been a “witness to tyranny. I believe our Presidents moral corruption knows no bounds.” Because literally stabbing your husband in the back is the pinnacle of morality and all…

A little birdie tips off a reporter to look into Sally’s husbands autopsy — that doesn’t exist — and Sally quickly blames “the devil” for her actions. “The devil murder my husband when he snuck inside me,” she said and then goes on to try to rationalize why she’s getting close to being found out. In her world, that’s punishment for supporting abortion rights.

I lost count of how many times I wanted to shake her and say “girl you killed your man “Snapped”-style!” but why isn’t anyone telling her to lay low?

Anyway, the President responds by tapping his lieutenant governor in California, Andrew Nichols, to replace the Vice President spot. Nichols is described as a “playboy” because that’s just what a President with a cheating scandal needs right now. Clearly Grant needs advising on how to pick advisors and that becomes even more apparent after we learn a bit more about Nichols’ past…

2. Olivia, Fitz, And Mellie’s Continue Their Addiction With Messy Relationship Drama

Olivia and Fitz getting back together is starting to become something like an annoying gnat buzzing in our ears, or nails running down a chalkboard, or someone clicking a pen while you’re trying to hear yourself think (you get the picture), because really!? But no matter how many times they get burned while messing around with each other they keep coming back to the fire.

We immediately learn that Olivia and Fitz are back at it like bunnies in the spring time when Mellie goes looking for POTUS and his “campaign manager” and then walks in on them mid-make out session. Seriously, isn’t there a house in Vermont for all that?

Anyway at this point Mellie, who as you recall practically begged Oliva to work for Fitz again, could care less…..until Sally’s campaign advisor later resurrects the “Olitz” affair rumors on a major network while sounding off against one of Olivia’s Gladiators, Abby. We know Mellie’s backward logic by now: as long as the public doesn’t know, the affair is tolerable, but as soon as it threatens Fitz’s presidential standing all bets are off!

Time for another ridiculous tactic….

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The first lady invites Oliva to one of those fake ass lunches the ladies of “Real Housewives” keep forcing each other to go to: a meal completely set up for the cameras. After a few rounds of fake laughing over glasses of wine Mellie gets down to business and pulls out a list of “eligible bachelors” and tells Olivia to choose one.

It was sad to see that list barely hit one page (are there really no more eligible men in DC? Don’t answer that), but still, we have to assume that there were multiple names on that piece of paper. Still out of ALL the men in DC, Olivia ends up deciding to recycle the other man that she can’t seem to leave the hell alone already: Jake. *eye roll* This is who Fitz almost lost his ish over upon finding out Liv was seeing, but for some reason our Fixer thinks this is a good idea.

But enough about Olivia, Fitz and Jake. The real relationship gotcha gotcha of the episode was the alley-oop for Mellie to get her swerve on. Remember vice president hopeful/playboy Andrew Nichols? Turns out he and Mellie have a past that ended in her being “the one that got away.” He’s been waiting to be near her for 12 years and now that he’s got his chance, it’s only a matter of time before they’re breathlessly throwing all the papers and supplies off a desk and getting it on too. We remember how much she was flirting with Sally’s husband before he turned out to be on the DL!

‘Scandal’ [RECAP]: 5 Situations That Should Warn Olivia & Co. To Get Their Lives (But Likely Won’t) was originally published on ionehellobeautiful.staging.go.ione.nyc

3. James Is [Still] Cruising For A Bruising

OK, if this was “House Of Cards,” James would’ve been offed after he uncovered the secret behind the “Defiance” and the stacked votes, and he would’ve at least mysteriously disappeared after he revealing he had tapes of Sally’s confession to Cyrus from the night she murdered her husband. But in Shonda’s Washington, DC, James gets to talk all the dirt he knows with lawyer David Rosen and reporters, all while keeping his fancy White House job.

James was pretty smug when he said Cyrus “thinks he doesn’t have a weakness, but he does: me” and then vows to “do whatever it takes to take that monster down” but even if it is taking Cyrus a while to make this problem dissappear we’ve seen what he’s done to eliminate the issues. And Rosen forecasts the possiblities: ”If these guys figure out who that reporter’s source is they’re as good as dead.”

James, responds with a dramatic stare as if this is all news to him. Yes dude, like everyone else, you’re asking for it.

4. Someone’s Got Harrison Shook (But Not That Shook)

One time for Harrison getting some action this episode! No seriously. Out of all the Gladiators, staff in the White House and other random characters on this show, this man seriously gets shafted when it comes to the romance (or even hooking up) department.

He also got a bit more of a backstory and we learn that someone’s got him scared enough for his life to “borrow” Abby’s gun without telling her. Turns out, Adnan Salif, the person who’s got Harrison shook is a woman, and she might want to have him dead, but first she wants to get into his pants. It would just make too much sense for Harrison to get away from the woman who has made him fear for his life all episode, so he decides to give in to her seduction. Sex is the Achilles heel of nearly every character on this show, so we can’t say we’re surprised that Harrison would forget everything up to this point, for the nookie.

5. Everyone Keeps Testing Papa Pope

For a group of people who spent an entire season talking about how dangerous Rowan Pope is, everyone continues to be test this man’s patience.

Rowan is looking like a ticking time bomb right about now after surviving Fitz’s tourture that included having to hear intimate details about his daughter. Now that he’s been outst as the leader of B613 in favor of Jake, and his ex-wife-the-terrorist is now at large he’s also a loose cannon who’s liable to do anything to restore order back to the career he remind’s Liv he’s worked his life for.

In another epic speech Olivia’s dad breaks it down (so it can forever be broke) that 1) Fitz is going down and 2) Oliva better scatter unless she wants to be caught up in the rapture:

“This, my dear, sweet, child is what happened,” Rowan says. “The married man you can’t stay away from had me abducted, locked me up in chains and spoke to me about how you taste while he allowed the terrorist that snuck her way into my marriage bed to clear US air space. The man you screw betrayed me by freeing the woman who gave birth to you as a bargaining chip. The man who defiled you also defiled an organization I gave my soul to build…that is what happened.”

(You can tell the speech hurts because Kerry inserts several of those scrunched face, lip quivering expressions all up in the middle of it.)

As far as Rowan is concerned: The President has made the worst kind of enemy. “The greetest weapon I can use against him calls me ‘dad.’” ”The President should be very afraid and if I were you I’d be terrified,” he tells her before advising her to “run as far as possible from the burning building called the White House.”

Welp….

BONUS:

Olivia Wants Quinn Back

Quinn has already proved to be a non-factor so we’re not even going to dignify her with a number. Jake made it clear she’ll never be a part of B613 and Huck made it pretty clear how he felt about his former protégé standing in the Gladiator family when he yanked all her teeth out one by one.

You’d think Olivia would have caught on to how much of a liability this girl is and be ready to cut her lose, but no. Olivia goes asking Jake about Quinn. This probably won’t be a good move for Liv right now, and since Quinn has been playing all sides, it’s worth noting that this likely won’t end well for her either. We can’t even say we’d be mad to see her go at this point. Bye, Quinn.

The moral of all these story lines? THIS WONT END WELL!

What did you think of the premiere? What do you think is going to happen next since these characters can’t seem to leave well enough alone?!

‘Scandal’ [RECAP]: 5 Situations That Should Warn Olivia & Co. To Get Their Lives (But Likely Won’t) was originally published on ionehellobeautiful.staging.go.ione.nyc

'Scandal': 5 Shockers That Should Warn Olivia & Co To Get Their Lives

‘Scandal’ [RECAP]: 5 Situations That Should Warn Olivia & Co. To Get Their Lives (But Likely Won’t)

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